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vombatiformesI love it and I hate it.
When I'm allowed to sleep the way I like, I can easily sleep for 10-12 hours and I've done it. Often. Having been enrolled in cyber school as a teenager means that for the last two years of highschool, I was pretty much running on my own clock. That generally meant up by 4 PM or 5 PM, asleep by 6 AM. Sometimes I could push it back and forth by a couple of hours if I had something I needed to do (run to the post office, go food shopping -- I was also living at my father's house during this time but supporting myself financially otherwise, but I had no car).
Try to get me to bed without melatonin before 4 AM though and I'm going to toss and turn, maybe fall asleep, but definitely wake up several times and probably wind up eventually throwing myself out of bed after only getting a couple of hours of rest. Laying in bed for long periods of time without sleeping produces this "trapped" feeling in me that really sets off my anxiety, so I just don't go there.
Today I got to sleep around 5 AM (no melatonin coupled with truly impressive cravings and terrible stomach pain), and I just forced myself awake at roughly 12 PM, though I am exhausted and want to sleep for hours more. I need to go to the post office though. Getting myself in the shower, getting dressed, walking up the block (I still don't have a car) feel like almost insurmountable chores.
Not to mention all of the other things I have to do today. Cooking, cleaning, and perhaps most importantly working, as I have like 25 days to prepare for Anthrocon and I am not yet prepared anywhere near to the level that I wish to be. I really need to make some money at this con and if I don't really start moving, it's just not going to happen.
Sigh.
When I'm allowed to sleep the way I like, I can easily sleep for 10-12 hours and I've done it. Often. Having been enrolled in cyber school as a teenager means that for the last two years of highschool, I was pretty much running on my own clock. That generally meant up by 4 PM or 5 PM, asleep by 6 AM. Sometimes I could push it back and forth by a couple of hours if I had something I needed to do (run to the post office, go food shopping -- I was also living at my father's house during this time but supporting myself financially otherwise, but I had no car).
Try to get me to bed without melatonin before 4 AM though and I'm going to toss and turn, maybe fall asleep, but definitely wake up several times and probably wind up eventually throwing myself out of bed after only getting a couple of hours of rest. Laying in bed for long periods of time without sleeping produces this "trapped" feeling in me that really sets off my anxiety, so I just don't go there.
Today I got to sleep around 5 AM (no melatonin coupled with truly impressive cravings and terrible stomach pain), and I just forced myself awake at roughly 12 PM, though I am exhausted and want to sleep for hours more. I need to go to the post office though. Getting myself in the shower, getting dressed, walking up the block (I still don't have a car) feel like almost insurmountable chores.
Not to mention all of the other things I have to do today. Cooking, cleaning, and perhaps most importantly working, as I have like 25 days to prepare for Anthrocon and I am not yet prepared anywhere near to the level that I wish to be. I really need to make some money at this con and if I don't really start moving, it's just not going to happen.
Sigh.
