vombatiformes: (Default)
vombatiformes ([personal profile] vombatiformes) wrote2012-06-21 11:44 am
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Aggression.

I want to make this post as friendly as possible without altogether throwing out the point of writing about something like this, anyway. The only way I can think to do it is to just make a disclaimer right now: I'm really generally not an aggressive person. Fighting makes me anxious, loud noises make me anxious. I don't like it when people are angry with me or when I'm angry with someone else.

It's just sometimes there's this terrible bubbling feeling in me. Like I'm just looking for an excuse to rage at someone, or to stop restraining my feelings, when they do come up and they are other than polite. I go through an awful lot of trouble in my day-to-day life trying to convince people that I am utterly benign, and I think it's led to people thinking I am actually completely harmless -- and not only that but that *because of that* it's fair to make assumptions on my behalf or force me into situations that I'm uncomfortable with, or make decisions for me, or whatever. I won't mind.

I do, though.